24 January 2008

10 reasons I don't go to movies during weekends in Kuwait:

10) Kuwaitis tend to think all movies are appropriate for all ages. A two year old in a gory war movie? perfectly appropriate.

9) Although there's Arabic subtitles, the person behind me always explains exactly what's going on(i.e. reading the freggin' subtitles) in a very loud voice for his 3 year old who's on the other end of the theater.

8) People walk in late to the movie (like 20/30 minutes late) then take forever to get adjusted. Once they get adjusted they start switching seats cause the two year old wants to sit next to the four year old and the seven year old.

7) Midway through the movie the oldest "kid" (usually around 12 years old)gets sent out to replenish supplies. Mind you, that person is always sitting in the middle of the row and moves REAL slow.

6) The two year old who kicks your seat all through the movie and when you turn around to say something his/her ice-queen mother ignores you.

5) People who send children with their maids to age-inappropriate movies. Kids start running amuck and no one's there to control them.

4) The guy who starts telling us what's gonna happen next..."al7een, bit6ali3 il mosadas o tithba7a" Shut the !@#$% up! It's not storytime at the library!

3) The idiot whose phone keeps ringing throughout the movie.

2) The idiot who keeps answering his phone saying "hella..wallah ana il7een bilcinema adig 3laik lamma a6la3"

1) The @$$hole who talks throughout the movie...often telling whomever's on the other end about the movie and about how freggin' annoyed we are at him.

Other issues: censorship. Yeah its annoying sometimes but I like not having to worry about my 13 year old brother going into inappropriate movies at multiplex's. Generally if I know a movie is edited beyond recognition I save it for a "movie night" at our beach house.

For the perfect movie experience:

-- get enough snacks to last you the whole movie (don't try to be cute with your small popcorn...if you want more go ahead and buy it before you enter the theater)

-- turn your cellphone off or keep it in silent mode. If you REALLY need to communicate with the outside world send a text message.

-- make sure the movie is appropriate for your kids and please don't send them in with maids.

-- if you really need to explain something to someone neardo it in a whisper.

-- keep your stinky feet off other people's seats.

-- take your trash out with you.

No comments: