09 November 2008

Subject: Annual email

I was clearing out an old email inbox a few days ago. My old self is hilarious! Between the laughs and the tears in that inbox, I came across this...four years later, the items are still relevant.

--Forwarded Message Attachment--
Subject: Annual email
Date: Tue, 6 Apr 2004 02:26:24 +0000

Asalam 3laikum,

It's that time of year again when I feel a need to send out this mean email. This is something I end up having to do annually. It seems like people get carried away with emails and forwards, completely forgetting that some of us actually need that miniscule free storage space we're given --& no I'm not paying for extra because you can't control yourself.

Anyway, here are some guidelines to go by if you're wondering if you should send me something...(No offense anyone)

  1. Don't send me pictures of babies if they're not yours...and if I've seen yours in the past two days don't sent me their pictures!!! (no matter how cute you think they are)
  2. on't send me pictures of yachts/cars/houses I will never own or see...I really don't care...if ever the day comes when I'm shopping for these items, I'll call you...
  3. Don't fwd me cartoons. Exception: they're so funny they killed you! In that case you'd be dead and I'd be happy with lots of storage space in my email account.
  4. Don't send me petitions/ chain letters...unless you personally know the person who's going to die because I didn't forward a stupid letter to someone who's never going to read it!!
  5. Don't fwd any self-discovery quizzes! I'm a cat; a Lisa Simpson; born in the year of the unicorn! NOTE: if you're really finding stuff about yourself from these quizzes, FIND YOURSELF A THERAPIST!
  6. If it contains anything cutesy don't send it!!
  7. If you've seen it before...DON'T SEND IT...chances are I've seen it a couple of times too!

Basically, don't fwd anything you find amusing --unless I'm really really really missing something if i don't read it-- chances are, after missing a really important email because of your fwd, I WONT!!

I hope no offense is taken by this email--bes 7aram 3laikum tarra wallah shayabt min il fwds il bay5a.

I'm sending this email to every account in my address book; so if you got it by mistake i.e. you're not implied by the email..then my deepest heartfelt apologies!!


eshda3wa said...


i should copy paste this and send it to everyone in MY mail list!

Salah said...


Suggest they have a blog and they post whatever on it instead of forwarding!

This is what I did when I was tempted to forward what I received.


Anonymous said...

I remember when I first started using the internet, the more forwards you sent, the cooler you were. How stupid is that? :p They are just so annoying. I think I might just do what eshda3wa said.