Disclaimer: Please read this post for what it is. I do not hate Haleema Boland. This post is not a criticism of her in anyway.
The other day I walked into my parent's house to join my mother in the living room watching a Haleema Boland interview. (Yes, I know, the ones that died that afternoon were my favorite brain cells too.)
Anyway, being the kind, patient daughter that I am and in an attempt to spend more time with my mother I watched the rest of the interview with her.
At one point Masha3il Alzankawi (this keeps getting better) asked Haleema why she doesn't have children yet?
Haleema says something like "I still travel for my job far too much to have children. Being a mother is more than just having a child, it's about nurturing and caring...." which I thought was a pretty decent answer that showed her self-awareness.
And the interviewer keeps digging, "but you're keeping your husband from being a father..." "but you've been married for a long time" "but when are you ever going to have time" "doesn't your husband ever say anything". She kept going for a good 5 minutes about this topic.
Actually I think I said something like "ballah ma tabi ityeeb 3yal '3a9ib?!" (what if she doesn't want any children?) to which my mother has a minor freak out.
Mother: if she didn't want to have children, then why did she get married?
G: I just think its a personal decision and she shouldn't have to answer the question.
Mother: Every man wants children.
G: That's fine but maybe she can't have children.
Mother: Ismillah 3laiha! Don't say that about her!! Maskeena.
G: No seriously, I mean it's a stupid question. What if her husband can't have children?
I can't really remember the rest of that conversation.
Anyway, the point of this whole post is: WORLD, LEAVE THE LADY ALONE!
Frankly, I'm not Haleema's biggest fan. It's a rarity that I ever see her on television because with all due respect her shrill voice annoys me and her war-paint and saritorial choices are visually toxic to me. Whenever she's on I exercise my right to mute and click away.
It is my understanding that this isn't the first time she's been asked the question on air either. One time, my cousin tells me, she answered with "a baby can't have a baby". (The logic seemed to be: let me make myself cute, girly, and immature to avoid the question.)
But that's beside the point, and what's the point you may ask, well there are several:
1) We'd never ask that of a man. If a man was in his late 20's and doesn't have children nobody asks why aren't you producing babies! (Oh right! I forgot! Woman= baby-making machine.)
2) If one sees their lifestyle unfit for a child then who are we to question that?
3) If Haleema, who atleast to people in my circles is seen as a "hussy" who'd do anything for fame, can't say she's putting her career before her family life and not catch the wrath of Masha3il ilzankawi (of all people) then how will the women living comfortably within societal norms who choose to focus on their careers (or merely growing up) before having children ever do?
4) Other people's sex life is none of our business. Just in general.
5) If she ever does choose to have children, are we going to hold it against her? As in thinking she's a mother now she should dress/act/talk differently and stop doing what she's doing?
Please. Let's make this the last time I ever come to Haleema's defense, okay?