17 February 2008

Tick Tock Tick...

(Tick Tock originally uploaded by Michael A. Blanchard, flickr)

Alternate title: Stop the !@#$ing ticking in my mind!

I'm having a 1/4 life crisis and today it's the school system's fault.

Since I was 3, I went to nursery school, every year of my life was spent working towards something bigger. There's a reason to go to school everyday.

Although not immediate, there was some sort of gratification that came intermittently and always came as expected.

While at university, every credit counted towards something greater, a college degree, every internship was applied to with the same reasoning, more experience for a better job.

Graduating college is an extremely anticlimactic experience.

The real world sucks.

I graduated college and soon after landed a "good" job. (It's in quotes because the place I worked was selective and prestigious, although it sucked BIG TIME.) Two years at the "good" job and I was going nowhere. So I quit the job (lots of factors including the nature of the job, health, a marriage proposal, and grad school came to play in making this decision). I don't regret quitting the job one bit.

But I can't get over feeling stuck. What am I working towards? And why? Where will I end up? Is that where I want to be?

I blame the school system for making me feel lost. For about 20 years I knew it all. Now, I'm clueless and stuck. The unknown blows.

On a brighter note, I leave you with an anime version of "it sucks to be me" from Avenue Q.


eshda3wa said...

u could always go back to school

Anonymous said...

7aram 3alech the best place is school :p and you living in a few different countries I am sure that must be a good experience!

G.E&B said...

eshda3wa: I could. And I will if the opportunity presents itself. But I won't use school as an escape. If it's not going to further my "career" in anyway then why the heartache. (I have friends who are getting post-graduate degrees just to add letters after their name...which I think is stupid!)

amu: nothing like going to afternoon school in Pakistan. win7ayee il 3alam ba3ad ;)