Haleema: Baby-making FAIL!

Disclaimer: Please read this post for what it is. I do not hate Haleema Boland. This post is not a criticism of her in anyway.

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The other day I walked into my parent's house to join my mother in the living room watching a Haleema Boland interview. (Yes, I know, the ones that died that afternoon were my favorite brain cells too.)

halema boland - cute
Originally uploaded by kuwaitbutterfly

Anyway, being the kind, patient daughter that I am and in an attempt to spend more time with my mother I watched the rest of the interview with her.

At one point Masha3il Alzankawi (this keeps getting better) asked Haleema why she doesn't have children yet?

Haleema says something like "I still travel for my job far too much to have children. Being a mother is more than just having a child, it's about nurturing and caring...." which I thought was a pretty decent answer that showed her self-awareness.

And the interviewer keeps digging, "but you're keeping your husband from being a father..." "but you've been married for a long time" "but when are you ever going to have time" "doesn't your husband ever say anything". She kept going for a good 5 minutes about this topic.

Actually I think I said something like "ballah ma tabi ityeeb 3yal '3a9ib?!" (what if she doesn't want any children?) to which my mother has a minor freak out.

Mother: if she didn't want to have children, then why did she get married?
G: I just think its a personal decision and she shouldn't have to answer the question.
Mother: Every man wants children.
G: That's fine but maybe she can't have children.
Mother: Ismillah 3laiha! Don't say that about her!! Maskeena.
G: No seriously, I mean it's a stupid question. What if her husband can't have children?

I can't really remember the rest of that conversation.

Anyway, the point of this whole post is: WORLD, LEAVE THE LADY ALONE!

Frankly, I'm not Haleema's biggest fan. It's a rarity that I ever see her on television because with all due respect her shrill voice annoys me and her war-paint and saritorial choices are visually toxic to me. Whenever she's on I exercise my right to mute and click away.

It is my understanding that this isn't the first time she's been asked the question on air either. One time, my cousin tells me, she answered with "a baby can't have a baby". (The logic seemed to be: let me make myself cute, girly, and immature to avoid the question.)

But that's beside the point, and what's the point you may ask, well there are several:

1) We'd never ask that of a man. If a man was in his late 20's and doesn't have children nobody asks why aren't you producing babies! (Oh right! I forgot! Woman= baby-making machine.)

2) If one sees their lifestyle unfit for a child then who are we to question that?

3) If Haleema, who atleast to people in my circles is seen as a "hussy" who'd do anything for fame, can't say she's putting her career before her family life and not catch the wrath of Masha3il ilzankawi (of all people) then how will the women living comfortably within societal norms who choose to focus on their careers (or merely growing up) before having children ever do?

4) Other people's sex life is none of our business. Just in general.

5) If she ever does choose to have children, are we going to hold it against her? As in thinking she's a mother now she should dress/act/talk differently and stop doing what she's doing?

Please. Let's make this the last time I ever come to Haleema's defense, okay?

Aseel: the anti-Haleema

Although, I'm wasn't in a position to vote for Aseel Al-Awadhi, third constituency candidate, nor do I agree with her ideology completely, I think she's great for Kuwait.

From Nouriya Al-Sadani to Rola Dashti*, never before have we had a young(-ish) feminine soft-spoken candidate running for elections. Kuwaiti women seeking powerful positions, whether real or fictitious (as in TV soaps), are always older, more androgynous and generally deemed "undesirable". (Sweeping generalizations, shame on me).


Aseel in a way, is the anti-Haleema Boland.


This elections' lesson: You don't have to be a ditz to make it; politics isn't for butch girls.

*Jenan Boushihri is an exception. Also, apparently Aseel and Rola are both around the same age. (who knew?!)

Mrs. Dr. Eng. Lawyer. Zifta.

Will someone tell me what the hell is up with titles?!

I've come to terms with the whole Dr. situation in the Middle East, that is: if you don't include Dr. before someone who has a PhD's name ur up for some crazy shit.

But lately, Engineers and Lawyers, rather people with engineering a law degrees, YOUNG people with engineering and law degrees have been getting really offended by me not calling them Engineer Zifta and Al-Ostath Zift.

NEWS FLASH: if you work in marketing, I don't care what ur freggin diploma says I'm not calling you "Engineer". Engineer is not a title (neither should most PhD recipients be called Dr. but that's another post for another day) so when I'm talking to you whether in a professional/casual setting I'm not gonna call you Engineer.

Oh and you don't deserve a "kadar" either...7abeebti, just because you did well in high school then felt like you would be compromising your intelligence by getting any other degree than Engineering or Medicine (and we all know Doctor's don't get married) so you chose to study Engineering based on what your "prestige" and society dictate, does not mean you're a freggin' engineer! Capiche!*

Just as a Teacher isn't a teacher unless they actually teach in schools, engineering is a profession and yes for the most part a degree is required BUT your degree doesn't guarantee a title.


* I know at least three girls who made their career decisions in this way. "I'm too good to be with the stupid people in any other major, I want to get married so medical school is out of the question, engineering it is." Then they realize that they don't actually want to do the tough work at their jobs.(these girls are intelligent and can do the work but they "outsourced" their projects during their school years and paid to get them done) So they take desk/administrative/non-engineering jobs then require that they get paid what engineers do and hold the title "engineer".


Of course not all women engineers are stupid as these women are.


I'm off my soapbox now.

10 things I vow never to do

How did all these things become acceptable to us? (By us I mean 5aleeji's in general not just Kuwaitis...although some are more Kuwait-specific than others).
10 things I vow never to do*:

1) Wear a denim jacket in the summer. (This is a few years too late as that was ‘in’ a couple of years ago but be sure...if that trend comes around I will not be joining the masses.)

2) Have a stupid post-delivery baby reception at the hospital a.k.a. Isti8bal (Istihbal). Spending hundreds of dinars to impress people you barely know immediately after you’ve had a baby..? Oh how fun!

3) Buy a car that costs three times what I make in a year to drive around Kuwait’s streets. Can you spell S-U-C-K-E-R?

4) Pick a woman out of a line-up to live with my family, and then leave my children alone with her for a specified amount of time each day. That’s what daycare’s for, cheapskate.

5) Marry someone for their money, their last name, or their mother.

6) Go to the same restaurant every week. (Maki, anyone?)

7) Grow a second head in my hijab. (Gives new meaning to Fergie’s “My humps”)

8) Paint a face that doesn’t resemble my face on my face. Oh I should add this one here, shave off all or part of my eyebrows and color them in. (“Chinese” eyebrows anyone?)

9) Scam the government to get undeserved money ‘cause I’m poor (related to #3).

10) Get one of those “ba6ala mu8ana3a” jobs, where you punch a time card sit around, eat, gossip, and leave (see #9, #3).



* subject to change at any moment.

Kuwaiti Geisha's and Arab Fish

Last night I went to another play, حلم السمك العربي (Dreams of Arab Fish) performed by the جيل الواعي troupe. I've seen a different one of their productions a while back (I can't remember the name) but they were both pretty cool.
The play was a free-event at the Jamal AbdelNasser Park in Al-Rawdha. I thought there would be a stage set up in the middle of the park and my friend and I were willing to brave the heat to see it. We thought, based on the production we'd seen before, that it would probably be worth spending two hours in the crazy weather (and it was humid yesterday...which is quite rare in July here) and of course we felt we had to support these people who are doing something 'different' by Kuwaiti standards with their lives.

Anyway, to our relief it turns out that the production was actually being held in a small building in the park ( I wonder if a patch of yellow dried up grass with lonely looking palm trees qualifies as a park...but anyway, I digress.).

For more information about the troupe please checkout www.jeelwa3i.com

I'm always surprised by the audiences who show up at these events. They're always a mismatched sample of Kuwaitis. There were quite a few dayin people around (I guess by looks we could be considered part of that population.), then there were obviously shia'a looking people, guys in their early twenties that cannot be labeled but as Marina rangers (in reference to Marina Mall), and the girls sitting next to me.

Girls sitting next to me, if you're reading this please don't take it personally.

Ahh! The girls sitting next to me were definitely a class of their own. They were really dressed up, yeah even by Kuwait's standards! (And we were in a shack in an all but deserted park--on a humid night.) I was kind of amazed, as I always am, at the care and dedication it takes to be soo dolled up all the time. Their outifits were very matchy-matchy (the shoes were the exact shade of pink the lipstick and hair clip were...isn't that amazing!) and their faces were painted like Geisha's. Henceforth the girls' sitting next to me shall be named KG's or Kuwaiti Geisha's.

I wonder if, like Geisha's, they step into character when they have their face-paint on. (Although if last night was any judge of the character they step into...rudely chewing gum, talking on their cellphones and texting, leaving and coming back atleast three times--we had aisle seats and they were in our row...their character's are really annoying!) If war paint is supposed to make a warrior feel more powerful and dehumanize him/her--i read that somewhere--what's the KG's makeup about?

Do KG's really thing that their makeup makes them look good? Or do they really feel horrible without the makeup that even though they stop looking human with it on they still look better with it than without it? Or is a mask they hide behind? (I can keep going on forever with the philosophical/psychological questions.)

But more importantly, (since I did admit my slight admiration for them) I wonder how much money the spend on makeup--because it really can get quite expensive. Do they use the cheap eyeshadow, the huge cases with 900 colors that are probably full of carcinogens? And how does it keep from melting away in the heat..is that due to technique or product? Do they sleep with their makeup on? Do their significant others/family see them without it? How long does it take them to put it on? what happens when they need wudu'u in public? (coz taking it off always takes longer than putting it on) or do they only go out at night?

I'd love to one day interview a KG to delve into her psyche and uncover any myths. But till then I'll still chuckle every time I see one and continue to wonder.