06 April 2008

It's Hard Out Here for a Pimps & "good girls"

One of the most interesting comments from a RL (real life) friend about this blog is that I don't come across quite as religious as I am in RL on the blog (I apparently write a lot about homosexuals, transvestites and drag queens).

It seems I'm not as morally righteous on my blog as I am in RL.

Let me say this loud and clear in case anyone thinks I'm trying to be hip or whatnot:

I'm a "good girl"*.

I have never had a boyfriend. I don't smoke. As far as clothes and makeup go, I'm quite modest. I keep my friend's secrets. I don't have very much drama in my life. I'm a "good girl".

Yay! Good for me!

Except when people around me make me feel like a boring old hag.

On boys:

"Are you serious?! No boyfriend? Ever..?! You've got to be kidding! What are you like gay or something?!"
"Aaah no. I just think its 7aram actually."
"Love is 7aram! What are you Bin Baz or something?!"
"No, love isn't. Having a boyfriend is."
"Oh please, you wear makeup and listen to music...that's all 7aram"

On clothing (modesty issues):

"Oh that's not my style, I don't do skinny jeans and hijab"
"My goodness live a little!"

"I'll be over as soon as I find a decent swimming suit."
"Oh Debenhams has really cute hot pants."
"I don't wear hot pants"
"9aaa7 nisait noo3ich im6awa3a...then buy whatever you don't care to look good."
"uh-uh. okay bye."

The problem with being "good" is that people who are doing things they perhaps feel makes them "bad" get insecure and project their feelings on me:

"You think I don't pray because I don't wear hijab"
"Aaah no, I think you don't pray because I spent three weeks with you and you never prayed once"
(Mind you I don't even care whether she prays or not...she was upset because she found out I was looking for a girl for this dude and didn't mention her name. He's made it clear he wants wa7da mit7ajba wit9ali soooo. I digress.)

Or even worse people think that I'm living vicariously through them and enjoy telling me details of their lives. (I'll spare you the details of that conversation.)

Usually, I'm trying hard not to judge and they make it especially difficult.

But seriously, al7amdilla I have strong convictions and a strong resolve, give me a break stop talking about him for two seconds puuuhleaaaaaase. Especially when 'he' changes names every few months.

(AND...Don't come running to me after he dumps you and gets married after I've told you he's been engaged for 8 months..oh and calling me a liar.)

Moral of the story: It's as "hard out here for a pimp"** as it is for a good girl. If you feel like you're being judged, chances are you're judging just as hard as well.

*"good girl" is in quotes because I believe "good" to be relative.
** sorry I couldn't help lacing my "good girl" post with even more sinful references (tehehehehehe).


Anonymous said...

I've never had a boyfriend...
I dress modestly...
I wear make up..
I listen to music....
I am a good girl too...
and I have a friend that always says ... entay maskeena... I hate her for saying that... I think I am living life to the fullest...Laish maskeena... lana wala e9bay gedar ege9 3alaiy...?

Glitter said...

I think I love you :*

Salah said...

I think we should learn how to ignore this sort of remarks and judgements.

Just learn to be calm and cool.

I should admit as a guy no body can pass their judgement in the same way, but still I have a wife and sisters and I know very well how it's upsetting when people try to be very generous with their comments.

What they say will not change the reality, and you can't please everyone.

Big Pearls said...

Be my friend:)

G.E&B said...

hamitaf: my thoughts EXACTLY!

glitter: *blushing* 7abitich il3afya

salah: i think women are much more sensitive to being judged and more judgmental

big pearls: awwww...woot woot! new friends!

Anonymous said...

You don't need to explain your self to anyone, you are who u are and they're friends with u because of who you are.
I really like what I read of ur personality btw.

This Lady said...

i've never had a bf
i dress relatively modest
i dont wear a hijab
i love music and movies
i have guy friends
i pray
and i think i'm great! not good. great!

Shoush said...

Long live good girls!

G.E&B said...

WoooHoooo! Good girls coming out of the woodwork...
boredq80: friends grow towards each other, then apart...it's not explaining myself..it's more asserting and putting a mirror to show that judgment goes both ways.

this lady: I think you're great too!!!

shoush: i KNOW. i'm starting a GG movement!!

eshda3wa said...

as long as ur comfortable in your own skin then khalas!

its good to be good!

Delicately Realistic said...

Story of my life!
Ive lost quite a few friends cuz 3ela golat'hom 'ana astashrif' just cuz i really do care i tell it how it is......bs will they ever listen to a girl who tells the truth? Oh heavens no, she must be jealous! A guy on the other hand, can tell no lies !

Anonymous said...

Reference to "Hustle and Flow?" I, too am more religious that I appear in my blog; it is the central reality of my life, and yet I feel I am living life fully. And I catch myself humming songs like "Hard out Here for Pimp" and "Riding Dirty" and other songs that are catchy but . . . hmmm, not really my lifestyle and I just have to laugh.

dandash said...

hey look wuts most important in islam is the inside..as long as u have good intentions and good actions then thts all that counts,,,look at u u pray ur modest ur a good person u enjoy life thats great!! listen to me god wants us to be happy god loves us and god wants us to enjoy everything god gave us and thank him for it and god wants us to ask for his help and hell stand by us god wants us to stay strong and be happy god wants us to help people and smile and do something for the world....but god also knows that we r not perfect and god said that if people were all perfect he would make other people who made mistakes to say sorry and be better...ok??? so listen to me if u can do the other stuff like higab and all the outside stuff in addition to wuts inside u(the main principle) then thats great...and if u cant its ok no one is perfect..