There's a word for it?!

You've got to be kidding me...

Things I cannot believe are real-and not a joke:

• MP BuRamiya, enough said. (I'm convinced he's Kuwait's Stephen Colbert.)
  
• "Ground Zero Mosque" brouhaha
• Small businesses who sell Kuwait Mills cupcakes with chocolate fudge drizzled over them for a million dinars.
• Sarah Palin's career.
  
• People who say things like "OMG, Mino ma ra7 iroo7 London this holiday?" or "Maligait badla ib a8al min KD 1,000" (They are their own parody.)
• the U.S. is really still in Iraq fighting to rid Saddam of WMD/rid Iraq of Saddam and to preserve the American way of life. (what?)
• Kuwait's Sephora staff.
• Sheikh Sabah attended Fajer Alsaeed's wedding (it was a prank, right? Someone tell me he has a wicked sense of humor and punked all of us)
• The lines at Pinkberry.
• Salwa Aljassar is a Member of Parliament. (I've never needed something to be performance art more than her tenure in parliament.) (google: لا تسيسون السياسه)
  
• Hassan AlBallam's new teeth (I really thought they were part of the costume for his Ramadan show).
  

يارب الفيسبوك

I caught myself today, thinking a prayer then quickly pulling my phone out to update my status/tweet that prayer. I didn't even actually say it. I stopped myself because that prayer isn't intended for the 500/600 people who get my updates.

When I scroll through social networking updates, there's often of quite a few prayer updates. It makes me wonder if we've relegated everyday supplications, calls of help/frustration/gratitude to social networking rather than God.

It worries me that I can't remember when the last time I've expressed a heartfelt thought to God rather than to a stupid social networking site. And I'm not even one of those whose every thought is parlayed into a status/tweet.

Just a thought.

the squiggly red line means something

There's a verbal section to the GMAT. Please don't take a prep class with people who can't spell.

I need a haircut...or maybe not

To the Six Entitled Boy-Men Smokers-

picture source

Dear Six Guys who lit up after their meal at Lorenzino-Salhiya,

I understand that at one point smoking was considered cool. Perhaps you were 16 when you started and hey all the cool people smoked, right? We've all done things we're not proud of. It's a tough habit to break. It's soothing. It's too hot outside. You just finished your meal and there's nothing greater than a cigarette after a nice meal. You need to smoke. I understand all that.

But you see, we are inside a building. The ceiling is low and it's a narrow restaurant, which means that there's no way for the smoke to dissipate. It lingers in the air and settles in my sad sorry asthmatic lungs. But you couldn't have known that.

Nope, you were too busy enjoying your oral fixation. Too busy to notice me, at the table right behind you, gasping for breath, coughing for a good five minutes and finally leaving the restaurant to stand outside for some fresh air.

It's sad all around, really. You, burning your money away on cigarettes. And well you, again, burning my money away at restaurants where your blatant disregard for those around you means a stop at the Amiri Hospital for me before the night is over.

You might think my anger is unwarranted. But see I think of air as a shared resource. I believe in such a thing as common courtesy. Like say, not contaminating a shared wel. You blowing smoke in the air I breath, would be like me spitting in your drinks. Disgusting, right? Exactly! I do not spit in your drinks. Not when I really feel like it, not when there's no where else to spit, not when I feel like I absolutely must. Nor do I defecate or urinate on your possessions. My, what self restraint I have!

You might want to try it sometime. Respecting others. It can be fun. In the meantime, I hope every time you smoke indoors, someone urinates from his balcony and hits your head. I hope every waiter spits in your food. I hope you never find parking. I hope you get the worst case of the runs that keeps you at home, where you can smoke your organs away without making the rest of us smell like ashtrays.

I hope you die,
G

the magic orange button.

I have a love-hate relationship with my google reader. I check it eagerly every morning and night. I get excited when I'm away for a few days and it reads 54 new items. I love pointing the arrow at the next button and getting huffy at bloggers who don't share their full posts (pageview whores!).

But I am reluctant to share it with anyone. I'm actually slightly embarrassed by the number of cooking and decor blogs on the list. Looking through my reader, one might think I'm a girly-girl. (Maybe even someone who falls asleep watching makeup tutorials on youtube. What? She has a really soothing voice.) I've got a few political blogs in there but they don't update as often as the frilly fun ones do.

Remember checking websites for new posts? That feels like forever ago. Of course sometimes it seems like the internet was much more fun that way. A surprise with every click.

All this to say, thanks if you're subscribing through a reader or through email. And I'm curious, what else is on your reader?

مالي خلق

How have I not mentioned this here yet...?

In 2010, the words مالي خلق are no longer part of my vocabulary.

If I don't want to do something I'll have to think of a better excuse, or I'll just do it.

---

So far, so good. I threw a great party for a relative. I've baked when I'm not really in the mood. I've been to more weddings than I've ever been to. I've gone to meetings when I'd rather stay in my sweatpants...so far so good.

Happy New Year!

People I find annoying

People who don't drink coffee/tea and preach
People who don't drink coffee/tea and make a point to preach about it have nothing going in their lives. Seriously, this is their only accomplishment. Can you imagine someone who ran a marathon or is working to end world hunger go on for 15 minutes about the dangers of coffee? Note to non-coffee drinkers: A simple "no, thank you" is more than enough.

People who work at makeup counters
People who work at makeup counters make a living off of our insecurities. "You're so pretty too bad about the under eye bags, buy this!" I especially get pissed off by Arab men who sell makeup here. Dude, you are not my gay best friend, I do not live in a sitcom as seen by my under eye bags!

People who send forwards and then ask if you've read them
I'm pretty sure I've let my feelings about forwards be known on this blog. Yup, right here. Like mutating bacteria that only becomes stronger, there's a new breed of people, those who send ridiculous forwards and then ask you if you've read them. Now why would anyone want to put others in that situation? 99.997% of the time I haven't, but to say that would mean that I don't appreciate them--which I don't--but I still don't want to admit it.

The Beginning.

• I met a man who smells like pickles. It wasn't a bad smell, it wasn't good either. It just was...pickles. Now I wonder if I smell like a food item.
  
• I'm traveling again tomorrow. I think I've been out of town almost every month this year. It's a good thing.
  
• I'm in awe of people who are perky all the time.
• I am convinced that I'd make an excellent cleaning lady despite not having made my bed in over two weeks.
  
• I've been in a funk for a few weeks now (see above).
• When I'm in a funk, I'm either reading all the newpapers in the world or none at all for weeks.
  
• I'm looking forward to Ramadan, although I'm not excited about the nocturnal lifestyle that will follow.
• I have no work projects lined up for Ramadan. I hate not working in Ramadan.
• I don't really have a firm plan for post Ramadan either.
• Two of my friends have vanished into thin air recently, One can be accounted for on facebook. Two can't. I worry about Two.
• Another friend's wedding was a few days ago. In another country. I wanted to go. Now I wait for pictures. But the Bride's too busy to send.
• I've been saying I need to go in for a checkup at the dentist for over four months. I have not gone yet.
• I have a whole bunch of government related paperwork that I must complete. Soon. Hopefully, I'll get started before Ramadan.
• My friend just had a baby. Strangely, he has a grown man's face (not as freaky as Benjamin Button). He also has a funny nose. And smells of spit-up.
• A friend's wedding to the Best Boy in the World's happening soon. I'm sooo excited but this funk's getting in the way. (Also, anticipating soul-sucking drama.)
• I think I lost my cell phone. FOUND!
  
• I can't find a picture I like for my blog's header. I also hated the stupid template I had used earlier. I want to find one that is not frilly and not "theme-y"...is that even possible considering most people designing these things are like 14?
• I've deactivated my facebook account over three times in the past two weeks. Funk made me do it.
• I haven't updated my blog because I dont't seem to have many original thoughts, as you can see.
• I've watched both versions of Pride and Prejudice in the past week (BBC and Keira Knightly) and am ridiculously annoyed by Jane's facial expressions. Both actresses gave an annoying performance.
  
• And what's with the stupid sad smile? NO ONE'S THAT NICE. No wonder Mr. Bingley dumped you, you're flippin' INSUFFERABLE!
• Speaking of insufferable, Keira Knightly needs to learn to open her mouth and speak. This talking through the teeth thing is not so cute.
  

The End.

Dalai Lama’s 18 rules for living

At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama apparently issued eighteen rules for living. Since word travels slowly in the digital age these have only just reached me. Here they are.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
   1. Respect for self
   2. Respect for others
   3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Found here.

(via i can read)

Subject: Annual email

I was clearing out an old email inbox a few days ago. My old self is hilarious! Between the laughs and the tears in that inbox, I came across this...four years later, the items are still relevant.

--Forwarded Message Attachment--
From: XXXXXX
To: XXXXXXX
Subject: Annual email
Date: Tue, 6 Apr 2004 02:26:24 +0000

Asalam 3laikum,

It's that time of year again when I feel a need to send out this mean email. This is something I end up having to do annually. It seems like people get carried away with emails and forwards, completely forgetting that some of us actually need that miniscule free storage space we're given --& no I'm not paying for extra because you can't control yourself.

Anyway, here are some guidelines to go by if you're wondering if you should send me something...(No offense anyone)

1. Don't send me pictures of babies if they're not yours...and if I've seen yours in the past two days don't sent me their pictures!!! (no matter how cute you think they are)
2. on't send me pictures of yachts/cars/houses I will never own or see...I really don't care...if ever the day comes when I'm shopping for these items, I'll call you...
3. Don't fwd me cartoons. Exception: they're so funny they killed you! In that case you'd be dead and I'd be happy with lots of storage space in my email account.
4. Don't send me petitions/ chain letters...unless you personally know the person who's going to die because I didn't forward a stupid letter to someone who's never going to read it!!
5. Don't fwd any self-discovery quizzes! I'm a cat; a Lisa Simpson; born in the year of the unicorn! NOTE: if you're really finding stuff about yourself from these quizzes, FIND YOURSELF A THERAPIST!
6. If it contains anything cutesy don't send it!!
7. If you've seen it before...DON'T SEND IT...chances are I've seen it a couple of times too!

Basically, don't fwd anything you find amusing --unless I'm really really really missing something if i don't read it-- chances are, after missing a really important email because of your fwd, I WONT!!

I hope no offense is taken by this email--bes 7aram 3laikum tarra wallah shayabt min il fwds il bay5a.

I'm sending this email to every account in my address book; so if you got it by mistake i.e. you're not implied by the email..then my deepest heartfelt apologies!!

Big Bus Company a la Balalee6 style

Yesterday, I gave an out-of-town friend a tour of Kuwait's Gulf Road and all the landmarks along it. We started GE&B's unofficial tour at Dar Salwa (Sheikh Sabah's residence) and ended it at the oil sector headquarters (is that what it's called?) across from the old Salam Palace. Speaking of which, does anyone know why it hasn't been renovated since the occupation?

Seeing Kuwait through fresh eyes and realizing how much my life-story and it's landmark are intertwined...left me nostalgic and feeling awkwardly patriotic. As anyone who knows me will tell you my rah-rah patriotism is tepid at best. I love Kuwait but I'm not blinded by patriotism to see how sucky we can be.

I guess I sort of introduced Kuwait to them as my crazy aunt who I can't help but love but am perpetually annoyed by her. Sometimes though, more than anything I hate loving her and love hating her.

Also, between Dasman Palace, the Sha'ab Palace and Dar Salwa, I was very proud of our Shyookh's relatively humble palaces (compared to my friend's country).

Livin' the good life.

guilty of neglect.

Dude. Arabic readers read this. Creative.

MIA

Where have I been?

Month-long trial at a company, we'll see how it goes...(2 weeks in)

Still freelancing.

Trying to have a social life.

Let's not forget its still human mating season. (and babies, and death)

Faith: practice makes perfect

As cliche as Nike's "Just Do It" has become I find that it best describes my attitude towards the ritualistic aspects of Islam.

Faith, like everything else in life, is driven more by habit than by internal spiritual motivation. It's a matter of conscious commitment.

The problem is that puts me at odds with the popular religious rhetoric.

We pray our five daily prayers because we believe. We only come to miss praying when it becomes a habit. When I lived in the U.S. praying Isha'a in congregation at the mosque was something I did daily. I miss it when I don't go, not because of some spiritual calling but because it has become a habit. The sights, the sounds, the motions and even the people at the mosque made my night complete.

Yes there is a bond that develops eventually, at least I hope, but it doesn't happen instantly. News Flash: The minute you start praying your life won't change. Chances are NOTHING will happen. Eventually, it becomes part of who you are, you develop a stronger God-consciousness by habit.

This has always been my approach to religion, if something is prescribed and I believe it then I won't wait for a "calling" to at least attempt it.

I've always been bothered by preachers who make rituals romantic. "Fajer prayer will bring you peace and sakeena..." Riiiight. May be true for some BUT personal experience has taught me that in the immediate future fajer prayers will disrupt my sleep and annoy the crap out of me because I have to take it into account while trying to get to sleep the night before.*

Romantics say "hijab will feel right and you'll feel spiritual and protected." I say clearly that's a statement made by a man. Hijab is hot and it crimps your style (if you're doing it right) but that's all beside the point.

If you believe that hijab is right should it matter how it'll make you feel? Because regardless of the way you feel, if you start you'll get used to it and it'll be part of you soon enough. I'm not saying the practice is without challenges.

One of the tabiyeen, the generation after the companions, said something to the effect of "I struggled with myself to pray Qiyam ul-Lail for 20 years, then came to enjoy them 20 years after." If it took a tabi3i, who arguably had a stronger connection to the Prophet than we do and much less distractions, 20 full years to begin to enjoy the voluntary prayers why are preachers talking of instant gratification to my generation?

I guess like pretty much everything else, my approach to religion is practical and logical. And I think religious romantics are doing us all a disfavor with their rhetoric.


Earlier posts on faith here.